Monday, June 23, 2008

Preganancy pact

I heard about this so called pregnancy pact of high school sophomores. I have two thoughts:
1. Damn millenial generation.
2. Damn parents.

I think its more interesting to ask why girls that young would high five each other at school? Instead of seeking attention from parents, they are seeking the feeling of loving unconditionally. Only problem is, the NOW generation, feels that way NOW. They have little foresight into the future, as pointed out by many journalists. But why would these girls not seeking the attention of the parents? Perhaps, they are. The better idea, though, is that they want to be better parents than there parents. Classic teenager syndrome. "When I grow up I will be a better parent than you." The trouble is, they arent growing up at all.

I am not condoning this behavior in the slightest. Knowing how much work kids can be, how much they cost, the emotional fortitude required to take on such responsibility, and the worry. Credit my wife for the warning about the worry. I dont sweat the day to day. I sweat the next 5, 10, 15 years.

Its also clear that parents are not paying enough attention or they are and are powerless to prevent these activities. I heard a story that reminded me how strange parents can be. A kids job is to do well at school and not get into too much trouble. Thats really all we can hope for. BUT.
I heard one guy say ... "I did well at school; I didnt get into trouble; But I was drinking at 14. What were my parents gonna say or do? I did what they wanted and in exchange I did what I wanted."

Wrong. I pulled that in college, as most of us do. But in high school? Not good for long term development, as I am discovering now. All our choices have consequences. some matter, some dont, some are long-lasting and others short-lasting. Never really know which one a choice will take on.

The bottom line is think carefully about what you have done, what you are doing, what you plan to do and what it all means. I will bet that had I followed my own advice I might have made some better choices. But its practically guaranteed we dont make decisions like that. we do 2 out of 4 ... what worked last time and what we want to happen NOW. Everybody needs a friend to keep them in choice balance.

returning to the pact, I hope we all learn a lesson. We need to raise our children to make smart choices not smart concessions. That raising children is different than having children. And that we all need to be a little better at communicating rather than doing. Guess thats the pot calling the kettle black.